How to feel more confident and comfortable in off-the-cuff moments
We’re switching between modes and audiences constantly when communicating and we’re losing our focus and our train of thought in the process. We need space to be strategic with how we communicate, connect, and collaborate.
You’re put on the spot in a meeting. Are you 1) able to access your ideas with calm confidence? or do you start 2) over-thinking, over-explaining, and over-prioritizing how you’re perceived instead of what you want to say?
I always struggled speaking up, especially in off-the-cuff moments. That’s why I created my online course, to help us all cultivate conversational confidence in spontaneous speaking moments.
My goal in this work is to give you space and structure to be strategic with how you communicate, connect, and collaborate. I believe you already know what you want to say—you just have to trust your ability to access it.
Feeling prepared when you can’t prepare
For me, the most challenging communication moments were always those casual, conversational, everyday interactions where I was expected to be “natural” and “be myself”. Instead, I would shut down and shut up. I had debilitating nerves that would creep up whenever the spotlight turned to me (and I’m not talking about public speaking, it happened even when socializing).
Every single day, I hear from people who experience this near-constant subconscious undercurrent of nerves, negative self-talk, and other distractions when speaking. Many people feel like it’s gotten worse since being forced on Zoom during the pandemic. Others say they’ve struggled with this their whole lives.
My anxiety needs structure. I’ve always been over-organized and over-prepared as a way to help myself feel more prepared when I can’t prepare. Today, I use systems thinking to create structure in spontaneous speaking moments so we can trick ourselves into feeling more safe and supported than we may in spontaneous speaking moments.
With my coaching clients and in the course, we create structures, frameworks, and formulas to use in off-the-cuff moments. Using a structure not only helps me feel in control, it also distracts me from the over-thinking and focuses my attention in the present moment. This is how I use “distraction mechanisms” to create more consistency in spontaneous moments.
Focusing on focus as a mechanism
What are you focusing on when you're put on the spot? Are you able to concentrate on what you want to articulate? Or are you questioning how to organize your ideas, where to start, how much detail to give, and suddenly you're over-prioritizing how you're being perceived instead of focusing on what you want to say.
That's what distractions do! They steal our attention—our presence—and splinter our focus making it impossible to hear ourselves think.
It's been my life's work to help us focus our attention in the present moment. To create space to focus on what you want to say instead of your racing heartbeat or racing thoughts. To use the habits and impulses themselves instead of vilifying them. There are clues in the habits.
Paying attention makes us more present. We replace something habitual with something on purpose. Leaning back instead of leaning in. Pausing on purpose instead of unconsciously filling the space. I call these tools distraction mechanisms.
We want to distract you from the over-thinking so you can consolidate your focus in the present moment (instead of in the before and after). We make the unconscious conscious, which helps us feel in control of each present moment and that’s how we build self-trust.
This work is not about changing the habits. It’s about using the habits and building tools with them in mind to make you more present. The habits keep us habitual, unconscious, automatic on auto-drive. The tools bring us to the present moment (and also happen to improve our hormonal confidence).
What’s stealing your presence?
The first step is always to pay attention. Most of us today have splintered focus. We’re here in the present moment but rapid eye movement takes us away from the present moment and triggers deep, recessive thinking. We don’t even realize we’re holding our breath (because we’re lost in thought) and we lose our train of thought because there’s no flow.
If we can see the habitual patterns, we can start to make choices that help us cultivate control. That’s how we build confidence.
My nerves always start with a racing heartbeat which creates racing thoughts. My focus splits and splinters and suddenly I have no idea what I just said and what if they think I’m stupid and ugh I just lost my train of thought.
Sound familiar?
Getting familiar with your unconscious patterns is the first step to becoming a more present communicator.
Do you fill space unconsciously? Do you have rapid eye movement that makes it harder to follow your racing thoughts? Are you subconsciously searching for the “right” words (which don’t exist) to sound “professional”, “charismatic” and “confident”?
What if your confidence lives in the present moment? What if your confidence lives in your ability to prioritize your own physical comfort?
Cultivate conversational comfort to build confidence
I believe that in order to speak with confidence, we have to feel comfortable. When our nervous system is elevated, it’s nearly impossible to feel seen, safe, and supported. And we need to feel that way in order to take up space. It’s a cycle.
Believing there’s something wrong with the way you communicate creates unconscious patterns like overworking, over-thinking, and over-preparing. This can lead to missed opportunities for career growth, miscommunication and misunderstanding, and burnout.
I’ve spent ten years helping thousands of people reclaim their presence and confidence when speaking off-the-cuff.
I created my self-paced online course on present communication to help you cultivate conversational confidence and speak with ease in your off-the-cuff moments. I designed this self-paced course to give you space and structure to be strategic with how you communicate, connect, and collaborate.
I believe you already know what you want to say—you just have to trust your ability to access it.
This course will take you through the tools I teach my private clients to help you craft a personal, practical framework to activate in any moment of spontaneous speaking so you can feel prepared even when you can’t prepare. The Present Communication Course includes:
Over 3 hours of learning content delivered in short-form videos to watch at your own pace
Handouts to integrate tools into your everyday communication
Recordings to build vocal power and regulate your nervous system
Lifetime access to all course materials so you can rewatch and re-integrate
We don’t need to be better communicators. We need to be present communicators.
We need to consolidate our focus in the present moment so we can speak with deliberate intention. We need to feel prepared when we can’t prepare for both spontaneous and public speaking moments. We need to prioritize our own comfort over how we’re being perceived.
The Present Communication Course is for you if you—
want to feel more confident and comfortable speaking up in meetings, advocating for yourself and others, and talking about your work.
want to articulate ideas in a clear and concise way when put on the spot instead of over-thinking or over-explaining.
want to be a better communicator but get distracted by thinking ahead or about how you’re being perceived.
want to slow down and speak with more deliberate intention in your meetings, interviews, and presentations.
want to introduce yourself and your life’s work with clarity and purpose.
