How UM is related to going blank when put on the spot

Back to school. Back to work. Back to beating ourselves up for natural human behaviors.

If you beat yourself up for your habits, you are not alone. Too many people contact me because they want to reduce unconscious filler or stop going blank when put on the spot.

Did you know these two things are related?

UM is a natural human behavior in 2023. We all say it. I say it nearly every other word when I'm not practicing presence. It's societal. It's ingrained. It's deeply habitual. It's contagious!

Instead of beating yourself up for a natural human behavior, use the habit to make yourself more present. Have an UM party instead. Celebrate hearing it because it's often unconscious!

Get really familiar with the impulse to say UM. What function does it serve? Is it so you can think on your feet? Is it to tell the audience you're still in process? Is it an aversion to silence?

Most of us lose our train of thought or go blank because we dissociate from our body while deep in thought—UM is almost always tied to looking up which triggers deep thinking. We're often holding our breath (which stops the flow of thinking) and over-prioritizing how we're being perceived (which activates fight-or-flight).

Staying present with the impulse can keep you present in the moment! This leads to more generative, intuitive thinking on your feet.

Once you build that awareness, you can replace it with something on purpose (even saying UM on purpose, which is very useful!).